Sometimes the word ‘flirt’ can have bad connotations, but why? After all, flirting is a perfectly natural and normal part of romance. The art of flirting can be quite the minefield. If you get it right, great. If not, it can be a total disaster. The line between successful flirting and being cheesy can be a fine one.

So, how do you flirt successfully without embarrassing yourself? Below is a guide to flirting that will ensure you’ll be sweeping people off their feet rather than being left with egg on your face.

Be realistic

Step one of successful flirting?  Be realistic. Don’t expect everyone you so much as wink at to fall at your feet. It might take a while to find someone who’s returning the signals you’re sending, so don’t get crestfallen.

Be open

People are attracted to happiness and confidence. If you’re standing, arms folded in the corner of a room with a scowl on your face, then people aren’t going to come over for a chat. Work the room, be smiley and positive and talk to people. It’s essential to be approachable rather than intimidating. Someone across the room might want to flirt with you but feel too shy to approach.

Be perceptive

Successful flirting is all about subtlety. If you’re flirting with someone, read their body language to see if they’re reciprocating. Are they making eye contact? Are their arms relaxed or by their sides? Most people read body language on a subliminal level, but try to be conscious of the signals others are giving out. If you’re getting the feeling someone is flirting with you, wait for at least two sure signals from them before confirming your suspicions.

It’s all in the eyes

Don’t take the old saying of ‘locking eyes across a crowded room’ too literally, but do be mindful that eye contact is very important. You can’t fully engage with someone without making eye contact and one gaze can give a thousand subtle hints. Even if you’ve not yet struck up a conversation, make eye contact for a moment or two. Just don’t get carried away to the point of staring.

Pay attention

Someone paying you attention is, of course, flattering. There’s nothing worse than someone looking over your shoulder when they’re talking to you. Listen and pay attention to who you’re talking to, they want to feel that you’re just flirting with them, not the whole room. Be mindful not to smother, however — be attentive but respectful.

Flirting online

In today’s modern world, flirting has moved far beyond the realm of socials and letters. If you’ve met someone online then flirting starts at the computer. Dating online at places such as the eHarmony dating site can be a great advantage in many ways, as you can meet singles for free or for a small charge on websites that can be general or niche, for dating or relationships.  But just remember that, when you’re emailing or instant messaging someone, there is no tone or body language to accompany what you’re saying. Pause and re-read what you’ve written before you hit send.

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